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| This week me and the girls got sick, coughing and the sniffles. Not really sure how we got it but we got it. I usually do not get sick but when I do, I hate it. And it's not even because my body hurts, it's hard to sleep, or it takes forever for me to recover...but I still have to take care of my family. When you are sick and working you can take a "sick day" from work and just rest at home...but when you are sick and a stay-at-home mom you can't take a "sick day" because your kids still need you especially when they are little like mine. Being sick doesn't give me an excuse to be mean, annoyed, and unkind to my family...basically being sick doesn't give me an excuse to sin. I praise God for my dear husband for reminding me that I need to love Christ, rejoice always, and to be thankful in my situation. Why? Because it is God who has given me this situation to be more like Christ and to give him glory. I wonder how Jesus responded to others and situations when he was sick. The bible does not talk about Jesus being sick but I fgured that within his 33 years of his life he probably had to get sick here and there since he was fully man. But because he is fully God too he did not sin and kept glorifiying His Father. He wasn't mean, annoyed, or unkind to others but probably really loving and continued to entrust his sickness to His Father. And I need to do that as well. Just because I'm sick that does not mean I have an excuse to be a jerk to others or to neglect my responsibilities. Yes I can rest and probably not do a lot of the things that I can do but I need to find a balance of resting and neglecting. My girls need me since they are little and I must remember that this sickness is from God so that I can be more like Him, serving my family even when I feel grose, and to magnify Him. Praise God for sickness!! | | |
| I woke up this morning at 8am hearing the sound of plates and cups hitting each other. I'm wondering who on earth is outside this early since so everyone went to sleep so late. I try to ignore the noise to continue my slumber but my baby girl decides to wake up and so I need to take her out before she wakes up our little girl. As I turn the corner to face the kitchen to my surprising eyes I see the mom. "You're up already, it's so early." "Ya I have a lot to do today" she replies as she cleans the kitchen up, putting away the plates and cups. Wow that's insane I think to myself.
Last night they get home around midnight and I thought she would go straight to bed since she woke up at 4am that morning to go to work. "Mom you need to wash my shirt, I need it tomorrow." If one of my daughters ask me that when I had a full day, I would have just told her to wear it dirty and no one would care (but that's just me). But she washed it for her, and not only that she was folding clothes while I passed by the room to say good-night and that was after midnight and she's up already by 8am.
Now she has finished putting away the dishes and is looking in the refrigerator and pantry to see what the family needs. She writes down her list and off she goes to the store and it's not even 9am. Oh boy I feel like a lazy mommy now. God is definitely teaching me what it means to be a mom through first hand experience and example. It's about dying to yourself, it's about putting other people's needs first, it's about sacrifice for the people you love, your family. I have so much to learn and I'm glad that through her example of being a mom I am learning it now while my daughters are still young.
Being a mommy also helps me point others to Christ, especially the children. It shows the gospel through the action the mom has decided to do. Many times children take for granted their mothers. Many times they don't realize what she does behind the scene while everyone is asleep. I know I took it for granted with my mom when I was young. But a mom does so much that people just don't understand how they can do all of it. Many people have told me that staying home is the hardest job that you can do. And I don't think it's because you are always with the kids 24/7. I don't even think it's because kids can be so hard and stubborn at times you want to scream. I think being a stay at home mom...or just being a mom...is the hardest job because you have to always die to yourself, always sacrifice your wants for the little ones, always portray Christ to others (even if you don't know Him) through your action of love to your family. And that is soooo unnatural in our world where we always always put ourselves first and our needs first. But praise God...He is growing my love for being a mom of these two little girls. Although I'm up by 8am now, seeing her face smile at me is worth it. I want God to help me gospel my children through my lives and my decisions I make before their eyes. I want God to help me point them to Christ.
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| I haven't fully adjusted to having two little girls always around me. I haven't fully got the hang of taking care of two little girls. I haven't fully seen God in all these things. There have been so many trials with so many changes. I was lying on my bed thinking about everything; thinking about my life, my kids, my husband. Thinking about my relationship with Jesus, with friends, and with my family. God has been peeling away at a lot of my sinful habits, thoughts, and behavior. Getting pruned is pretty difficult but always satisfying. I need to find my joy in Chrit and in no one or nothing else. I need to find my identity in Christ and not in anything I do or what I don't do. I need to find my rest in Christ, I need to find my satisfaction in Christ, and I need Christ. The more I leave Him out in my life the more I find myself unsatisfied and trying to fill it with other things that will never fully satisfy. Oh how selfish I have been with everything. Lord please forgive me. Forgive me for not putting you first in my life. Forgive me for not working out my salvation and building our relationship. Forgive me for not being faithful to you. Lord help me to find my joy in You. Lord help me to love my family by loving you. Lord help me to point my family to You and helping them to love you more. Oh help me to see the importance of life, my purpose in my life, and You in my life. Thank You Jesus for always being faithful to me and forgiving me.
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| Not having a place of our own is a bit strange. Living with a family is very different for me...but God knew what He was doing. Although most of our things are in storage God is showing me how to to be content in all things. I do need to adjust to this change, my girls need to adjust to this, my family is adjusting to this change. It's only been two days and we are still getting settled. But for the past two nights we have been here we have already had two visitors from our church family which we totally enjoy. Living closer to our church is what we wanted so we can start living our lives together. We want our lives to intertwine with other lives in our church. We don't want to meet with the church only on Sunday, but we want to live our lives together with them throughout the week. And I think moving away from Anaheim and moving closer to everyone is helping us to do that. It's a praise and we can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do. | | |
| Today we are moving out of our apartment of 2.5 years. This whole month I've been packing up our things into boxes and throwing other things away that we don't use or need anymore. We also gave a lot of things to our church family for the rummage sale that they are having today. Since we are not moving to a permanent house until we buy our own house/condo, most of our things will be in a storage. This made me about material things and how much people put so much significance on them. Throughout my life I have noticed that many people associate who they are with their things. I have ntoiced that many people find their identity in their things. I have noticed that many people buy so many things, expensive things, because it shows the world that they are important. And I have also noticed that people buy so many things when they are unhappy and depressed, thinking that those things will bring them happiness. Sadly things can not do anything but look pretty. Buying things is not wrong or bad, it's not even sinful. But things can not satisfy your soul. All our things are in the storage, rotting away until we need to use them again. Things can not bring you everlasting joy like Jesus Christ. It's only because of Jesus Christ that I can say these things. I do not find my identity, joy, significance, and purpose in my things because they can not give me anything. Praise God for saving my soul!!! | | |
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